Sails

  Sails

  At times the world seems so full, you look down the street and you see home upon a home.

Cars drive down the street hour after hour.

The sidewalks are busy time after time, all too often I look upon the water and wonder.

Is the water as busy as the ground?

Would I run into one sail after another on the open water?

Nature rules on the open water, there is no doubt.

As a visitor to the open water decisions must be made moment by moment.

Going underwater has always been terrifying.

Lack of control, lack of light, all too often spin the world upside down.

Sailboats are a means to travel the world of water.

You feel the breeze upon your skin.

You see the sun upon the horizon in vibrant oranges, pinks, purples, reds.

The deep blues and greens of the water blend with the hues of the sun.

Creating a calming arena of vibrant colors and sounds.

All too often lately I think of what it would be like to sail into the horizon.

Eyes

They Open

They open foggy and unclear.

They open shadows begin to fade.

They open the visions to become foggy and unclear.

They open thoughts become unsure.

They open the past is in the past.

They open you become unsure.

They open you rush to become active.

They open you rush to wipe the webs of the dream away.

They open and still the webs linger.

They open to see where you have come.

It isn't until the fluffy, furry tuxedo taps you though, that they are clear.

They open.

They open to a world of possibilities and a road to trudge.

Your eyes are the receivers of scattered dreams of regrets and desires.

Every Morning..

 My furry sentinels Luci and Hades greet me every morning.

They stand one on each side of the hall, as they wait for me to arise. 

As I walk down the hall they rush ahead, weaving through one leg to another.

From the hall to my desk, their favorite resting place, they wait for their maid.

Splayed across my desk I wait for them to arise.

Laid on his back is his comfort spot, Hades.

Luci prefers to rub her cheeks on the computer screen, so much the lady.

Food is Luci's first love, snacks suit Hades from sunset to sunrise.

Luci is calm and Hades is rather neurotic, both act as if my desk is their resting place. 

They both love attention. each one different, Luci is up in your face, Hades prefers to lay next to you, but not in your face.

My furry sentinels Luci and Hades greet me every morning.

Curriculum

 

Often the idea of starting something new brings a certain amount of trepidation. There are always foundational questions such as, what will this look like, how will it be implemented, what is the over-arching goal? I can see now why many people in education go for a single subject credential, mainly because it is much easier to develop a full plan on one subject, rather than on all the subjects. With a multiple subject credential, the main objective is to create a solid foundation for all subjects taught K-12.

Since graduating in May of 2019, I have been really trying to figure out exactly how I want my teaching to look like. While in classes we were bombarded with information and theory lots of theory-based learning, however, I never really felt like it was truly being taught for comprehension. It always felt more like this is how I teach, see if you can mimic this. I also feel that they truly wanted us to learn the standards and base our teaching upon the standards, I get that, I just wish they would have walked us through how that would look based upon generic curriculum. Even the standards acknowledge that their focus is on what is most essential, they don't cover everything that should be taught. Hence the amount of trepidation that occurs in starting.

I have decided that I will substitute this year and learn from those teachers that have experience and learn the state standards and begin creating a plan to adapt the curriculum to meet those requirements.

The pacing is where I need to start and when and what I will teach. Trepidation and anxiety, often accompany me until I gain the confidence that I really know what I am doing. Confidence isn't something that I was born with, it was something I always had to work for. The difference today is that I know how to go about gaining knowledge and how to work to gain confidence.

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome!

Good Morning!

If you have found your way here, I hope that you find something here that makes you smile, or that makes you think. I finished the San Marcos Writing Project Summer Institute, yesterday and the message I took away from the institute, was to write. I found I have a voice and that voice has a right to be heard. however, I also found that before it is blasted across the universe I have the responsibility to refine it.  I wish to transmit what I actually mean to say, rather than saying the first thing that pops into my brain. Hence this blog, I am beginning a new chapter in my life and as per usual my tendency is to write. I use to never question why I wanted to write, however through many of the chapters of my life I soon began to question why I wrote. Periodically, that questioning and self-doubt would take control and I would quit writing. Having a blog and making a commitment to actually post is not new to me, I am hoping that I can overcome my bouts of self-doubt and fear of what others will think enough that I can open up and just write.

Why blog if I don't want the criticism you ask? Because I have a voice, and I want my voice to be heard. I want to share, I want to collaborate, I want to expand and find other like-minded people. I want like-minded people to know that sometimes walking through an experience that causes uncertainty, fear, self-doubt may not make you an expert at something, but it does help to increase your knowledge and it also helps you to grow. I am also hoping that in the process of writing I actually learn to revise and the conventions of grammar become easier. Grammar has been a bane in my side for a very long time, in fact, it has been one of the very reasons I quit writing for so long. I can't remember when to use a comma, let alone where to use a comma if my life depended on it. I would turn papers in and I would have more red marks then I had written. I was told your thoughts are all over the place, you write too much!

How can you write too much, really?

Eventually, the criticism outweighed the desire, soon I no longer wrote, and I no longer shared, I became silent.

Once in awhile my voice would cry out to be heard, but instead of writing and refining what I wanted to say, I just blurted it out and often found the message garbled and still unheard. Writing helps me to refine and clear my thoughts, to revise and polish so I have a clear message. A message that is inclusive and thoughtful, a message that isn't an attack. Writing helps me to remove the frustration and hurt that clouds my mind when I can't say what I mean and instead say things I didn't mean because I became flustered. So, if you do find a grammar mistake, one that is just staring right out at you and you simply must tell me that it is there, please do. When you do please cite the stead-fast rule the one that is etched in stone, or a book, for me to refer back to, so that I too can share in the vast knowledge of grammar correctness.

I am not sure when I will share this with anyone, people may stumble across it and that is okay, for now. I want to try to create a writing habit of posting on a regular basis. This is an exercise of just allowing my voice to speak and the training will come with use. This is my journey to discovering what my voice wishes to say and in what direction it will go. Enjoy your day, I hope that you have laughter, love, and learning.